How to win friends and influence people in the digital age (Dale Carnegie)
This week, Jas shares his thoughts on an updated version of this classic book about influencing people.
"A Great Read"
This book is aimed at anyone within the marketing and sales industry that has an interest in influencing people. The premise of the book appeals to those using digital platforms to engage with people or appealing to new clients or regaining the attention of existing clients and social audiences.
About Dale Carnegie
Dale Carnegie was an American writer and lecturer. During his life he developed a set of famous courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills. Originally working in sales, he left and released a series of self-help books. His most successful book being ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’.
Outline of the book
The Original book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” laid out timeless principles of human communication and how-to best use communication to engage with others. At the time of the original book, human interaction was limited to face-to-face, phone and letter interactions. In the update version “How to Win Friends and Influence People in the digital age”, these principles of communication have remained the same and been adapted to better suit the developments in the digital age where new forms of communication have evolved such as email and social media with a strong focus on authenticity of an individual.
Show your real self. Don’t create a fake persona online. If you really want people to connect with you, you have to connect with them. Don’t hide who you are.
Much like in the real world, a smile can create a warm welcome, but you cannot physically replicate a smile over digital platforms. Instead you can use a positive tone in all messages. Choose positive lexical choices, and show people you have a genuine interest by engaging with them and offering them what they want rather than what you want.
In today’s world, the book suggests, that you need a deep connection with people which can sometimes be lost or mistranslated in the digital age. However, showing your real self and being empathetic with others can help strengthen these relationships.
As easy as it is to simply reply to a person’s message negatively or post criticism towards someone on social media, it won’t benefit you. If you criticise something you have to be open to the backlash whilst it may attract attention it’s not the right attention. The second you criticise you have to know how to respond. It also makes it easier for someone to turn away from you or even your business.
A big takeaway from the book. Showing someone, you care, not just about them, but about what they want and what their needs are. Showing someone, you can adapt to make sure you meet their needs and taking genuine meaningful action to build those relationships will make them want to say yes to you. Making a person feel valued but discussing things that matter to them rather than pushing a certain message that you want will help you win them over.
Whilst the book gives a number of beneficial principles to communication practices and how you can adapt these communication practices to the digital age and various digital platforms it also becomes very repetitive with the same teachings being highlighted multiple times However, the points made suggest how we can make lasting relationships by being our true selves.
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